Jeff, the kids and I went shopping at Academy the other day. If you aren’t familiar with the retail chain, it is a sports and outdoors store. The grand opening was only a few weeks ago, and as everyone predicted, thanks to the local university and the sheer number of rednecks in our town and the surrounding counties, they are doing quite well.
When we entered Academy everyone went different directions. I’m not a hunting or fishing enthusiast, so I headed for the shoe section with Meredith. Jeff was looking to replace a few lures, and Kenny followed him–not because he likes to fish (he doesn’t), but anything was better than shoe shopping with the girls. Soon, he found an aisle with knives and then another with binoculars, which is where we all found him before proceeding to the checkout.
There are times I can tell that Jeff is disappointed that Kenny is not interested in hunting or fishing. Not that he’s disappointed IN Kenny, but just that he’d love to have one of his kids come alongside him in those areas of interest. But Kenny isn’t interested in “wetting a lure” or talking about guns unless the two of them are are playing Call of Duty–then he’s “all in.” He enjoys going out on the boat with Jeff, but it’s because of the opportunity for one-on-one time and conversation with his daddy more than anything else.
What Kenny loves is spending quality time with family, playing Minecraft, talking with friends, reading, telling stories to whoever will listen, messing around with LEGOs (although that is dissipating somewhat these days), hanging out and riding bikes with our neighbor’s son, and playing Xbox–however he will stop playing if his friends aren’t online to play with him.
We see more and more that Kenny thrives when he is with people–he draws energy from others, and we see how quickly he can start to sulk when he doesn’t get that time.
The day we found him on the binoculars aisle he was waiting for us so he could SHOW them to us and TELL us about them. He doesn’t fully enjoy himself until he can share the experience with someone else.
Meredith is just the opposite of her brother. She enjoys planning time with other people–looks forward to it even, but people can drain her and she “fills her well” by coming home and isolating with headphones or her journal. An hour or even, several hours of “alone” time and, she’s good to go.
Jeff and I have spent the better part of our parenting trying to tune-in to the needs, and encourage the interests, of our children. We see the uniqueness in them and believe their individual interests, coupled with their distinct personalities are beacons for discovering what it is they will ultimately do with their lives. Of course, parents know that task isn’t as easy as it seems it should be most of the time. Still, our job is to help our kids dream, plan, and work toward the future they want–until they change their mind, which in the early years is very likely. At that point, we give them the necessary room and guide them as they adjust fire and go in a different direction.
Right now, we are adjusting fire a lot–of course we are; they are young, and we are still growing up too, after all.
We are striving to tune-in, so they don’t tune out. We want to “see” them, love them, and desire the best for them–not just in education, but in life.
In what ways are you tuning-in to your kids, and what interesting things have you noticed/learned about them along the way.
Heather Sanders is a leading homeschooling journalist who inspires homeschooling families to live, love and learn. Married to Jeff, Heather lives in the East Texas Piney Woods where she currently home schools two of her three kids.